The Late-Night Friend Request

31 January 2012

It’s happened to all of us at some point.

You’re at a party, you’re a few drinks in, and you’re just bantering with your friends as the melodious sounds of Avicii fill the room around you. It’s a typical Saturday night and all is right in the world.

Then, out of the corner of your eye, you spot that attractive girl from your Politics class who you’ve yet to talk to.

You spot that attractive girl from your Politics class who
you’ve yet to talk to…

Feeling a little more courageous than you normally might, you start walking towards her. As you get closer and closer, you scan through your list of possible discussion topics, which includes the Republican primaries, Tim Tebow, your workout regimen, your thoughts on Drake’s new album, and an apology for “accidentally” bumping into her.

Finally, you decide on Tebow and manage to strike up a conversation.

You go on to exchange introductions and pleasantries, and after a few minutes you part ways as you decide that since you actually might want to see her again, at this point it’s too soon to ask her if she’d like to dance inappropriately with you.

You wander around the party looking for some other women to speak with, but in the end you know they won’t live up to the one you just talked to.

You decide to call it a night, and while you’re disappointed that you didn’t talk to her longer, that doesn’t stop you from mentioning her to your friends and thinking about your future plans with her (whether they exist or not).

The party ends and you wander back to your dorm with only one thing on your mind: you need to immediately find this girl on Facebook.

You log on, and you realize it might be harder than you first thought as you only have her first name. Not only that, but Facebook seems to become increasingly complicated every time you log on, and even finding the friend request button is somewhat of a challenge thanks to Timeline.

But the night’s activities give you a heightened sense of determination and you press onward. When you finally locate her several minutes later, you pause for a split second as you debate whether or not to push the button.

That debate ends quickly, and you fall asleep hoping for the best in the morning (or, more likely, you wait another 30 minutes before you fall asleep in the hopes that she’s awake too).

As you rise from your slumber the next afternoon, you’ve momentarily forgotten about the friend request that was so crucial to you last night. But when you turn on your computer and open Facebook, you see the red at the top of your profile that signifies a notification.

Then it hits you. You’ve succeeded.

As you triumphantly cycle through her array of attractive profile pictures you bump some Kool and the Gang and Celebrate with moves that resemble those of a certain Rolling Stones singer.

As you sit back and revel in your conquest, you smile and hope to God that the next time you see her she remembers your name.

For more honest insight, check out these posts:
The Worst Drinks You’ll See at Parties
HC Top 10s: Ways to Lose at Pong

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