Top 10: Things to Avoid When You’re Blackout

8 March 2012

Blacking out is something that many students come across during their college experience, and in a sense, it’s almost a right of passage.

While its fun to get plastered with your boys, blacking out can lead to unintentional repercussions that usually are extremely embarrassing. Here are ten things that will certainly ruin your night, some humorous facts about drinking problems, and generally all of the things you should maybe avoid next time:

1. Don’t urinate on anything other than a toilet

Explanation….While this may seem like unnecessary advice for someone in their 20’s, there is a reason that I’ve listed this first. There have been countless stories of students (mostly guys) who have forgotten that they aren’t toddlers and urinated in various places, like shrubs, school buildings, and, perhaps worst of all, girls’ beds.

2. Don’t argue with anyone

Reasons being…..As I’m sure you know, there are many different type of drunks; the happy, “let’s rage till 4 am,” drunk, the “I’m going to cry and ruin everyone’s evening because my boyfriend broke up with me” drunk, the “I’m tryna get laid” drunk, etc. The worst is the “I’m pissed off and already hammered drunk.” In any case, whatever you’re thinking is probably a bad idea.

3. Don’t get kicked out of the party

That’s because…..One of the worst things that can happen at a party is getting so drunk that you have to leave involuntarily. By far, the worst party to get kicked out of is a formal. Not only is stumbling so much that you’re walking like a newborn calf embarrassing, but you miss out on a once-a-semester party.

4. Don’t pass out

Well, not the worst option, but…..Passing out from drinking is not only dangerous, but can be humiliating when you finally awake. After you pass out in a public place (and your friends check you’re responsive), its fair game for them to pull all sorts of pranks, from writing on you to covering you in christmas lights and ornaments. And, trust me, there will be pictures the day after. It will be better for your ego if you make it back to your room.

5. Don’t vomit (in public)

Happens to us all…Purging yourself from the toxins that you’ve ingested after a night of heavy drinking is not only a good idea, but suggested. However, vomiting in public is a horrible idea for various reasons. Sometimes you just have to make room for more booze, but when you have to boot and rally, make sure you do it in private, so that no one judges you.

6. Don’t try to hook up

Not joking….While this may seem stupid, hear me out first. As many of you know, when you drink, your inhibitions go out the window, as do your standards. And because you’re not timid as you are when you’re sober, you can make a mistake and wake up next to someone you wouldn’t be seen talking to. So do yourself a favor and try not to hook up with anyone, because even if she is a babe, the worst case is that you won’t remember it the next morning.

7. Don’t fight with your significant other

Thought it seems like fun…..Fighting with your girlfriend/boyfriend is one of the worst things to when you’re blacked out. Bringing up past issues is not only the last thing you should do when you argue but doing it blacked out means a lot of crying and unnecessary drama. So save yourself the hassle and let it go and try to have a good time, before one of you says something you’ll regret the next day.

8. Don’t get injured

No brainer…..While no one tries to get injured, people certainly do stupid things when they’re hammered, from jumping off rooftops, breaking glass bottles, getting into fights, throwing anything in their vicinity, etc. For anyone who has gotten drunken injuries, you know that dealing with it, from bandaging up wounds to going to the hospital, is a huge buzzkill and effectively ends your night.

9. Avoid the Campus Police

They like getting you in trouble so…..It’s pretty simple, avoid the campus police at all costs, unless you really need their assistance. Next time you’re stumbling down the street and you see a campus police patrol car, muster all your energy and feign sobriety so you can avoid an unexplained withdrawal from your bank account.


10. Don’t drink more

Seems like a GREAT idea but…..When you’re already blacked out, drinking more is unnecessary. Also, blacking out is caused by a sharp spike in someone’s blood alcohol level in a short amount of time; when you continue to drink after blacking out, your blood alcohol level can continue to rise to dangerous, life-threatening, levels.

Hope this all resonates when you begin drinking the next time!

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