Why Aren’t You Single?

29 January 2012

What is this obsession people have about being in a relationship? Why do we need a reason as to why we don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Being single is something I’ve always been more than okay with. I am currently in a relationship because I ran out of reasons as to why I should stay single. I happened to meet this guy and couldn’t find any other ways to push him away.

Although my friends knew what a great person he was, they were still surprised to see me give in and put my trust in someone else.

Forget the boys, act crazy with your best friends!

By now you’re probably asking yourself what I did to be lucky enough to have someone care about my insensitive heart. And honestly, I ask myself the same thing. I would have been perfectly fine being single for the next upcoming years.

I didn’t want a boyfriend holding me back while I study abroad, while I find my own apartment wherever I want after graduation, and while I start to build up my career. Only then did I think I could fit in a man to enjoy the finest things in life with, that I had already worked so hard to get.

It amazes me to see girls and guys so unhappy with their relationships, as if it’s better to be miserable than single. A significant other should be there to enhance the things you already have. He or she is there to laugh with, to cry to, and to try new things with; for support, for happiness, and for intimacy.

Of course couples are going to argue, but they’re going to talk it out and find a solution. They’re not going to change for each other (they started dating each other for who they were to begin with, right?), but they will adjust to each other’s needs.

This may sound like a lot, and I hope it does because relationships are not simple. Take them as full time jobs, if you will. If you don’t have the credentials to successfully take one on day-to-day, don’t go handing out your resume. Build yourself up until you are stable enough to take the next step. Because I guarantee, you won’t find this kind of support if you’re willing to give anyone a chance.

College is 4 years of your life with the right amount of freedom and absolute carelessness that you’ll never get to experience again – until you retire and your children are on their own, at which point I would imagine things go a little differently. You go out when you want, come back when you want, and let’s face it, sleep with whom you want.

The only thing you have to worry about is class in the morning and although that’s important, its nothing compared to a job. You have the rest of your life to be tied down to someone else; to adjust to his or her needs and worry about what’s necessary for them.

You can count on friendships to last long
than roses.

So before you go curse off that ass**** for just wanting one thing, thank him (maybe just in your head, not in person) for being honest. I’m not saying I approve of this behavior, but you cannot force something more.

Enjoy the time being. Take advantage of the support and laughter from friends. You can expect those friendships to last longer than a boyfriend because most of us aren’t finding the one we’re going to marry in college.

But maybe that’s just it. Maybe you can only find that perfect person after you learn to not take things for granted. If I’d been looking, I would have settled for someone who couldn’t compare to the boyfriend I have now. We may not be perfect, but we are perfect for each other.

So until you find that absolutely perfect person that you can’t pass up, have fun on your own. You have so much time ahead of you to find a great relationship; you want to realize it when it comes at you years and years from now.

For more original insight, check out these posts:
Hooking Up with Ambiguity
Facing Reality in your Relationship Before You Hit College

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