Life-Size Poster for Your Dorm Door

This post is by the Honest College intern Evan Katz (Rhodes College)

You find yourself alone, walking down an endless hallway. Doors surround you, each one identical to the last, and you begin to panic as you realize that this stretch of hall looks exactly like the one you passed through two minutes ago.

You whirl around, the endless line of blank doors seeming to press in against you. Sweat forms on your brow as you try to escape, realizing all too late that you’re trapped in this hopeless nightmare…

….or that you’re in a college dorm building. Seriously, couldn’t people decorate their doors a bit? It sometimes looks like a mental ward.

If you’re looking for a way to make your door stand out from the rest, let people know who lives inside, and impress the opposite gender beyond all your previous attempts – and let’s be honest here; up until now they’ve consisted of badly-timed winks – then a life-size, homemade, personal door poster is just what you and your roommates need.

Here’s how:

Step 1) Find a friend with a nice camera. Ask around until you can find someone, preferably good-looking, who’s got one of those nice SLR cameras that you always see hipsters walking around with.

If you don’t know any hipsters, because you’re too unique and original for them, of course, try hanging around the art building and you’re sure to come across a photography major that will help you out.

Step 2) Get a picture taken of you and your roommates standing in your doorway. Have your new (good-looking?) camera friend stand directly in front of your doorway, far enough back to just barely get the entire door in the picture.

Open the door, duh, and strike your best model pose with your roommates, making sure to be right inside the doorframe. Partial removal of clothing optional.

Step 3) Load the picture file into Windows Paint. You know, that program you find in the start menu under accessories?

When you open up the file you’ll probably being staring at a screen-wide close-up of your eyeball because the resolution from your (you should be dating them by now) friend’s camera is so high – this is a good thing. Use the “view” tab up top to zoom out a bit, and the “crop” tool to make sure the photo is just the doorway.

Step 4) Set up the photo to print poster-size on multiple sheets. This is easier than it sounds – just go to print page setup, and in the “scaling” section click “fit to” and make it 5 by 10 pages. This size will fit the standard dorm door, unless you’re attending the Louisiana State Institute for the Vertically Challenged. Adjust accordingly.

Before you hit print, you’ll want to make sure the printer you’re working with has enough ink to make fifty, full-size color copies. I recommend the library printer, which will probably cost you around $8, or the guys across the hall.

Trim the edges and tape your poster up. After you awkwardly walk away with your stack of body-part photos, you’ll have to trim the margin of white space around each one. I know – it sucks, it’s boring, and you have terrible fine-motor skills. But it’s well worth it.

Also, try and keep the pictures in order or you’ll end up with a life-size puzzle of yourself… intriguing, yet probably a project for a different day. (Maybe a nice gift for your camera-happy significant other? What? You broke up?) If possible I’d recommend getting one of those giant pieces of paper from the art department so you can tape all the photos to that first, and then put it up on your door. If not, just tape it straight to the door itself.

Bask in the glow of the life-size poster of yourself on your door. The immediate effect after finishing this project is a little mesmerizing – at first glance it looks like you and your roommates are just standing frozen in your doorway. Once people get used to the poster you can actually stand frozen in your doorway and become, for all intensive purposes, invisible.

Now that your room has some unmistakable, personal flair, get ready to be a minor celebrity across campus as “that kid from the cool door.” It might even give you a chance to invite your ex-camera friend over to see the finished product. (They’re seeing someone else? Already? Slut.)

For more original insight, check out these posts:
How To Keep a Girl Interested In You
How To Coast Through Your College Years

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2 thoughts on “Life-Size Poster for Your Dorm Door

  1. Part of me almost wishes I still lived in a dorm – Though it'd be more fun to try and get the whole suite of 6 for the suite door…

    And I hate to be that guy, but the expression is, "for all intents and purposes".

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